Sunday, November 26, 2006
Did you mean this one Gina? Some more editing on my writing needed!!
Thanks so much for last week's feedback on my rhyming and sketch! Very helpful! Glad you liked the sketch overall too. I will definitely zoom in more on grandma's face in the color version. And yes Gina, I did the piece above of a nasty teacher last year. She was actually my Kindergarten teacher and I was mortified of her! I remember her like it was yesterday! That was a very long time ago too.
On another note here's some more of my Little Red story in rhyme. Let me know where it's off or what sounds awkward etc. I didn't get what you meant exactly about the tempo Carlyn. I've been trying to get the piece to have 8 syllables and then break with a comma and the last two words of each part of the phrase rhyme. Don't know help!! More suggestions would be greatly appreciated. It's all new to me but a lot of fun too.
"There was a girl so sweet and kind , to give a hand she’d never mind.
A warm and glad embrace she’d ask, upon completion of a task.
Rain or shine she’d find a way, to make the best of every day.
One day her grandma thought to find, for she was almost nearly blind,
a gift to give to her grand child, that didn’t mind to walk the mile,
along a path deep in the wood, for this was where her cottage stood.
Beneath her bed there lie a chest, with things the grandma loved the best.
It held a cape from long ago, she’d worn to town her goods in tow.
The color was a precious red, to suit a girl more young instead!
This lovely cape it fit just right, not short or long not even tight.
Red Riding Hood they called her so, she wore this cape for all to know,
Grandma’s gift she thought a treasure, love for her there was no measure! "